Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love. provides a feeling of self-sufficiency and worth that helps allay fears in *all* areas of your life. How many of us could honestly pickup and leave everything we know for 6 months without feeling some sort of illness? This thread is archived. I recommend this book to anyone struggling with any type of relationship. But I think for majority of people the most they do might be an angry letter or yelling at the other person. Love addict? I do think that these patterns Pia Mellody talks about probably affect a lot of people, but that generally in a lot subtle way than she talks about. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for Love Addicts, and Mellody?s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships.? Finally, we found a counselor who said “read this book”. Just good solid researchers doing good solid research. Daft Punk. I would recommend this book to someone interested in the topic or curious if they are suffering the effects of Love Addiction without realizing it. The five stars is mostly because of how eye-opening and life-changing this book has been for me. After 6 years and many different counselors, I still didn’t understand why my husband and I were having the constant conflict issues we had. ... me in the middle of the night about how sad and only he was, Reviewed in the United States on March 11, 2017. All of us deserve to learn to love in a healthy way! All in all though, I had trouble following the organization and structure. Reviewed in the United States on January 17, 2020. Already had opportunity to put this new infomation in effect and have been able to identify a new potential pitfall and avoid it before falling in! Very informative though a bit repetitive and somewhat lengthy. You will not get lost in the psychology and there are plenty of recapitulations and helpful re-phrasings to avoid confusion. I learned a lot about myself, my significant other, and my relationships with my parents. Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 22, 2012. 1 year ago. The cornerstone of this book is the dichotomy Pia lays out between the Love Addict and the Avoidance Addict to help us understand the pathological attraction on both sides of the spectrum. If you are a big believer in the twelve-step model of recovery and viewing things from an addiction framework, then this book will likely resonate with you. I was in a relationship where I felt mentally and emotionally unstable. While this book definitely offers some very interesting perspectives that can help people understand what’s happening in their relationship and become aware of the patterns of "love addiction", I would advise that anyone reading it take the labels, prescriptions and timelines around recovery with a very heavy grain of salt. She provides a practical recovery process for love addicts and their partners based on Twelve-Step work, exercises, and journaling. There were some moments where I was pretty sure the author had pulled open my head and peered inside, and others where I could be glad that I hadn't reached that level of addiction yet. Thank you, Pia Mellody, for giving me some of the answers that I needed just as I needed them! Though, considering the prevalence of Hollywood and romantic comedies, I find myself wondering why we couldn't generalize this dysfunction to more than just a few in the population. A very powerful and life changing book. And it doesnt have to be about a romantic relationship, it can happen with a friend, sister or other family member. There is so much information. It was uncanny! It provided some strong insights and courses of action for those affected. From this concept we can begin to understand the inner workings of codependence, a dependency that has plagued my family for generations. Life made more sense after reading this book. But where this book really took an eyebrow raising turn for me was the suggestion that not only does recovery take about five YEARS but that partners should detach from the relationship during that time, even if that means they are still living together and should only interact with each other 'in common areas' and "keep just enough interaction in the "allowed" areas to feel some partnership. A brilliant new guide to understanding the origins of codependence and the path to recovery by a nationally recognized authority on dependency and addiction. He's since read this and now only sends pictures of food. I found Melissa Broder’s Pisces and a Love Addict documentary way more helpful. It is still interesting, but I would take it all with a grain of salt. Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships. A deep look at the dynamics of being a love addict or, a new concept for me, a love avoidant. Love avoidant? To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number. Most addicts — no matter what kind — have experienced some form of trauma when they were young, be it neglect, abuse (emotional, physical, sexual), abandonment, inconsistent parenting, smothering parenting or some other type of trauma. This is the only book I have found that deeply explores the relationship that is created when two co-dependents come together. In this revised and updated version of Facing Love Addiction, bestselling author of Facing Codependence and internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for Love Addicts, and Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships. Nonetheless, It was quite illuminating for me to find described on the written page what my previous relationships have been like and the pitfalls that have kept me in them. We’d love your help. There is so much information. Don't let the title scare you away -- this is one of the smartest relationship books I've ever read. In this revised and updated version of Facing Love Addiction, bestselling author of Facing Codependence and internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. The first part of this book was like being given a decoding device. Susan Peabody, known for her writings on love addiction cites 4 main types of love addicts: Facing Love Addiction In this book, Pia describes in detail the dynamics of a co-addicted relationship, the symptoms of each partner, and the stages of addiction from attraction and fantasy to denial and obsession. For me the book was a bit absurd, word "homicidal" was used a lot in talking about the patterns and I don't think that will talk to a lot of people, to who it could when it would be written differently. I certainly gained a lot of insight about myself from reading this book. Help others learn more about this product by uploading a video! Her reality is not a reflection of what’s possible and for too many people who have already been in intense pain for years and years, this kind of news might have the opposite of its intended healing intention and instead, be a death sentence for a couple that have already been in pain for many years and are ready to call it quits. My teen daughter's counselor is having her read it now...I know Pia's insight will be a valuable tool for my daughter and only wish I would have had this knowledge at a younger age. I mean this book really changed by life and has been crucial in saving it as well. Individuals do not fall in love with someone who will return their affection. As a marriage and family therapist for 31 years, I recommend this book to pretty much all my clients. anyone in a human-human relationship (i.e. To me, that's not only dangerous, it's reprehensible, especially as the author is not even a doctor! This Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love having great arrangement in word and layout, so you will not really feel uninterested in reading. Helps you understand the roots of this addiction and gives you tasks to do and talks about recovery. She is a member of the faculty at The Meadows Treatment Center, a residential center for victims of trauma, emotional abuse, and addictions, in Wickenburg, Arizona. I was reading Mellody Beattie's. The exercises in the book are a little tedious to do and I'm not sure how much they helped, but it's a process. by HarperOne. The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting … You will not get lost in the psychology and there are plenty of recapitulations and helpful re-phrasings to avoid confusion. Please try your request again later. But working through the recovery process and breaking the destructive patterns with those with whom you are in relationship (especially yourself!) It felt like a good stepping stone or jumping off place but didn't get detailed enough to really help you navigate the course of recovery. Presentation of ideas was messy and convoluted. my first extensive exposure to 12-step language which made me cringe and grin plenty, but i did find some useful insights for the things people do. Being a couples therapist and involved in the recovery community, this book resonates. Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love Audible Audiobook – Unabridged One credit a month to pick any title from our entire premium selection to keep (you’ll use your first credit now). Top subscription boxes – right to your door, © 1996-2021, Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. Bring your club to Amazon Book Clubs, start a new book club and invite your friends to join, or find a club that’s right for you for free. Worthwhile reading that is recom mended for libraries serving both the professional and general reader. report. This new knowledge was pivotal in my healing process, and will change the way that I. It also analyzes reviews to verify trustworthiness. I was let down. Pia Mellody is an internationally renowned lecturer on the childhood origins of emotional dysfunc-tion. My exhusband and I both have love addiction and love avoidant issues, which caused much chaos for many years. From this concept we can begin to understand the inner workings of codependence, a dependency that has plagued my family for generations. After viewing product detail pages, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in. Through 12-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for love addicts. Yoko had also released a new record and a conceptual book. Very helpful for becoming conscious of our responses to others. In this revised and updated version of Facing Love Addiction, best-selling author of Facing Codependence and internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody unravel the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love.. Skimpy. Love this book. Types of Love Addiction Dynamics. In this revised and updated version of Facing Love Addiction, bestselling author of Facing Codependence and internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. She also includes information on the recovery process, the marks of a healthy relationship, and the process of en tering into a healthy relationship. Search. This book is for U. We all do a dance in our relationships! There was an error retrieving your Wish Lists. :) 6 comments. Bought this for a friend that would alternate between texting me in the middle of the night about how sad and lonely he was, or texting about how he was trying to get rid of his latest conquest. I can assume this is because everyone's journey will be different- the authors really drove the point home to seek a counselor or program or sponso. A real eye-opener. May return to relationship out of guilt or fear of being totally alone, or moves on to connect with another partner. Her recovery work-shops have benefited people all over the world and her bestselling books have been translated into many languages. I mean this book really changed by life and has been crucial in saving it as well. In Pia Mellody’s book, Facing Love Addiction, … A book you would want to own not just read once. For me the book was a bit absurd, word "homicidal" was used a lot in talking about the patterns and I don't think that will talk to a lot of people, to who it could when it would be written differently. everyone), I generally liked this book in terms of covering the topic of co-addicted relationships. I find it incredibly irresponsible for the author to suggest any kind of timeline around healing and recovery. There are no discussion topics on this book yet. "Facing Love Addiction" expresses what is essentially a fairly straightforward idea and does so in similarly uncomplicated language that is easy to grasp. I do think that these patterns Pia Mellody talks about probably affect a lot of people, but that generally in a lot subtle way than she talks about. My further reading will be for more details in areas that were only briefly touched on. I couldn't find it. However, that’s my personal opinion. Wow. "Facing Love Addiction" expresses what is essentially a fairly straightforward idea and does so in similarly uncomplicated language that is easy to grasp. Love addicts are driven by a primary fear of abandonment spawned from childhood neglect/abandonment. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compass. PDF Download Facing Love Addiction Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love PDF Full Ebook. 76% Upvoted. Unable to add item to List. I highly recommend every married couple read it. This could include anyone in the early, middle, or late stages of recovery from sex or love addiction who desires to … There are times while reading it I felt like it was written directly for me. It’s a good book though and does make some valid points, it’s just a bit too confusing for me. According to Pia Mellody, author of Facing Love Addiction, “Possibly the most significant characteristic of love addiction is that we assign too much time and value to another person.” Someone with a love addiction focuses almost entirely on the object of their desire. This is a very interesting and complex topic, but the author provided only a superficial analysis. Please try again. This book was written in 1992. I have not found this book useful, to be honest there is so little on love addiction and books on it are contradictory so I did not have high hopes. I had so many ‘a ha’ moments in the first few chapters as I continued ticking her boxes that I couldn’t wait to get into the recovery process but as the book progressed I started having serious misgivings. I didn't like it very much because it was too hard to follow. “Not all codependents are love addicts, but all love addicts are codependent.” – Pia Mellody, in “Facing Love Addiction” “I have never met a client who was not codependent, and am declaring war on the codependent disease and the damage it does to families!” – Doctor Becky Codependence “If you think you know what codependency […] lacey made me read this one. Excellent book for understanding addictive and dysfunctional cycles in your primary relationships, for understanding the root of those cycles, and learning how to overcome them in order to form more functional and healthy relationships. You May Also Like Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2014. Thank you, Pia Mellody, for giving me some of the answers that I needed just as I needed them! The love addict is described as insecure, needy, compulsive-obsessive, vengeful, toxic, destructive, irrational, inappropriate and completely incapable of having any kind of healthy relationship. Start by marking “Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love” as Want to Read: Error rating book. hide. Through a twelve-step programme, exercises and journaling, Facing Love Addiction outlines the recovery in a compassionate and realistically process. Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love and a great selection of related books, art and collectibles available now at AbeBooks.com. This, along with Facing Codependence, is a must read for anyone serious about their recovery and want to have truly intimate relationships! Most books about codependency focus on the classic relationship dichotomy of co-dependent and alcoholic/addict/narcissist. Finally she advocated prescribing anti-depressants while going through recovery. WHAT IS LOVE ADDICTION? The last term she carefully distinguishes from love addiction. share. A deep look at the dynamics of being a love addict or, Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 2, 2017. Facing Love and Sex Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change and Overcome is intended to reach anyone who desires to be free of sex or love addiction. Though, considering the prevalence of Hollywood and romantic comedies, I find myself wondering why we couldn't generalize this dysfunction to more than just a few in the pop. There was a problem loading your book clubs. Furthermore, to tell someone it’s going to take 3-5 YEARS for them to be recovered enough to be in a healthy relationship and that they should avoid intimacy during that period is not just ludicrous, its reckless in its prescription. and it provides work space for the steps. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required. The book concludes with a set of journal exer cises designed to help someone in recov ery. Having just gone through a breakup that left me reeling, I decided it was a good time to read something about relationships. One morning as I sat in my psychiatrist’s office at … New copy - Usually dispatched within 3 working days. This new knowledge was pivotal in my healing process, and will change the way that I look at potential partners forever. Something went wrong. Saying this, the implications of the basic psychological model being proposed are huge. Welcome back. it is a 12-step model for cleaning up dysfunctional relationships. "Imagine" had just come out. When you think of the bigger picture you realise humans aren’t really meant to be with one partner, especially when you think of evolution. level 1. Please try again. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. Your recently viewed items and featured recommendations, Select the department you want to search in. "Facing Love Addiction" expresses what is essentially a fairly straightforward idea and does so in similarly uncomplicated language that is easy to grasp. Love addiction (also known as pathological love) refers to a “pattern of behavior characterized by a maladaptive, pervasive and excessive interest towards one or … It’s the kind of book you had to keep revisiting. So I'm basically just walking around like a raw nerve and I'm not sure that I... To see what your friends thought of this book, Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love. This is the type of book that may appear to have a tiny niche market, but would have a wider scope than one may think. Recommending it to clients. Refresh and try again. Reading this book can offer explanation for the intensity of fear and pain you experience in relationships, make the fear and pain conscious rather than unconscious so that recovery can begin, and also present a new, healthier way of relating to people that you can begin to implement. If Uve been struggling with love addiction ,, If u cant maintain a relationship cause u always think that there must be someone better or i should wait more for thr ONE .. Facing Love Addiction. save. Be the first to ask a question about Facing Love Addiction. You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition. Somewhere she brings an example, and the most subtle thing is trashing other person's car and on the other end is killing the person and his/her children. I hope everyone reads this just to have a better relationship and realize compromise and communication are key. The most important thing for me is to remember that I am a Love Addict, because of my childhood trauma, I have accumulated feelings of low self-esteem, abandonment, and worthlessness, and I need to keep returning to what it means to have a healthy relationship, and protect myself from comrades an. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for Love Addicts, and Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships. Fantastic b/c i didnt even realize this "condition" existed and that I had participated in the cycle of a love addiction. Ultimately, love addicts must enter a grieving process to address the underlying emotional pain that is at the core of the addiction. Finally, I understand my relationship issues. It’s essential to keep in mind that when you are going through withdrawal, your brain is in a readjustment period. The best and hardest book on relationships I've ever read. Pia and her team give exercises to face what she terms love addiction and love avoidance. The description of the Love Avoidant fit my newly minted ex perfectly! John Lennon and Yoko Ono were on the Dick Cavett Show in September, 1971. Find all the books, read about the author, and more. Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2018. The definition of love addiction was so broad that it could apply to everyone. In this revised and updated version of Facing Love Addiction, bestselling author of Facing Codependence and internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. and i admit to finding some of my own uglier behaviors discussed as common asshole maneuvers - humbling and helpful. it is one of those take-what's-useful-overlook-what's-not books. Love avoidants are driven primarily by guilt and a … She’s got on sheer black stockings and a little beret. As another reviewer alluded, there is a fine line between true love and grieving and love addiction. Sort by. Please try again. Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives, The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love, Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence, Is It Love or Is It Addiction: The book that changed the way we think about romance and intimacy, Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. I Built Healthy Relationships With Other Females. While I appreciate some of the eye-opening ideas in this book, it is based on a disease model and is pretty outdated. It was highly relatable, thought-provoking, insightful, painful, yet filled with hope. With all the advances and crossroads between epigenetics, neuroscience, quantum physics, plant medicines, somatic psychotherapy and integrative psychology, people are making “miraculous” recoveries and experiencing “spontaneous healing” (of so many things including lifelong patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors) more often then not. Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Trending. Her suggestions for how they interact do not seem to take into account any children who may be in the household and how such detachment and separation between the parents might affect them. Would appreciate your help. She’s sitting in the first chair and she’s wearing an expensive-looking, orange velvet leotard. I had been recommending this book to clients for some times, but hadn't read it myself until recently. Speaking both from per sonal experience and a clinical standpoint, she very carefully defines her terms, in cluding "love addict," "avoidance addict," and, of course, codependence. 0062506048 - Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love by Mellody, Pia; Miller, Andrea Wells; Miller, J Keith - AbeBooks Love addiction is defined by a specific set of characteristics and behaviors. Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 30, 2020, If you want to break your love addiction/avoidant cycle this is the book that will help you understand how, Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 27, 2019. S essential to keep in mind that when you do not understand why you the! Of love addiction and gives you tasks to do and talks about recovery in relationships any... Roots of this book has been for me focus on the ideas and tools provided in this really. She trusts its safe return ; and I admit to finding some facing love addiction the love issues. 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